Thursday, May 16, 2019

Being Our Husband's Cheerleader

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get this post written.  I really wanted to seek the Lord on this topic.
First of all I'm no expert on the topic of marriage. I'm not a perfect wife and my  husband is not perfect.  But because God chose Tim to be my husband and me to be his helpmeet ( Yes I unashamedly used an "outdated" word) God's match is perfect.

I've been thinking about this topic for awhile now. I remember reading a blog post last year where a Christian woman in her wedding vows said she would be her husband's biggest cheerleader. Oh my goodness!  The way the women reacted you'd think she said  "Do what you want, even if it's sin! Rah!Rah!"😮
Comments raged from  "I don't need to cheer my husband"`to " Why should I approve of every single thing he does?" Sigh. They just don't get it.

First of being a cheerleader or encouragement  to our husbands is NOT:
Giving approval to sin or other unhealthy behaviors. 

Before I go any further with this post, I want to confess something before I write about the topic at hand.   I started this post on Friday May 11th but things got busy with home and church. So I figured I would write and post yesterday (Monday).  Well I spent pretty much all of yesterday sulking because over something minor my husband did. The Lord convicted big time over that through a devotion I read today. The author shared about having a selfish attitude over a minor matter she was going through with her husband.
After reading that I was really convicted over my sour attitude.

  Getting to the topic of my post, I want to say that for the Christian wife, next to our relationship with our Lord, our relationship  with husband should be our closest.

Proverbs 31:11 -12 KJV says " The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. "

Our husbands need us to encourage them through prayer, being a listening ear and definitely not being critical.  We ought to not complain to our friends about our husbands.  I am completely guilty of this, especially of late.

 We as Christian wives are to be our husband's biggest cheerleaders.  A few ideas that come to mind:
1. Pray for him and with him.(1 Thessalonians 5:17 ,Ephesians 6:18)

2. Be a good listener and only offer advice when asked. I think this applies not just to our husbands but others too. Sometimes our husbands just need to us to just listen. ( James 1:19)

3. As I mentioned earlier never complain about your husband to your friends and family.(James 5:9)

4. Never, ever criticize him in front of others, especially your children. This is most disrespectful. (Ephesians 4:29,Romans  12:3)

5.Respect him by submitting to him. (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18)
Submission is one word that some wives find offensive. I've heard arguments that husbands will take advantage of them and walk all over them.
Let's get one thing straight. A truly godly husband will not do such a thing. He wouldn't take advantage anymore than a truly godly wife wouldn't take advantage of the scriptures about husbands loving their wives. (Ephesians 5:25 -29)

There are many more scriptures that can be added to the above and I know there are other things I didn't list but I want to encourage you look up the scriptures in your own Bibles.

On a sad note some of you are be followers of  my friend Gina over at Home Joys it would appear that her husband Ed is approaching his eternal reward soon. Please pray for this sweet family especially for Gina.
Thank you sisters.

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Book Review: Vertical Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson

Vertical Marriage - The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage was a very good book. Actually it was a great book! Dave and Ann Wilson are very honest about their struggles in their marriage and  how it nearly fell apart.  There were times in the book where I thought  "Oh no she didn't!" Or " He's such a jerk and he's a pastor?"
What does "vertical marriage" mean? Both husband and wife having a relationship with Jesus and making Him a part of your marriage. 
The book is divided into four parts:
Part One- Going Vertical- Here Dave and Ann take turns sharing some of the issues they faced as they learned to put their focus on Jesus even though they were born again Christians.

Part Two- Conflict and Communication - This sections covers dealing with anger and how to resolve it, learning to listen,forgiveness and more.

Part Three -Intimacy - Here they talk about physical intimacy in marriage. I won't say more.

Part Four-- Living Vertical- In this last section Dave shares surrendering our marriages to the Lord.  It's not a suggestion. Christ needs to be in our marriages.

The back of the book has discussion questions for couples and some of them may be hard to discuss with each other like: Chapter 1- "Six Words That Changed Everything"

In your marriage, when have you been hit with a "brick"- a challenge, reaction, or situation you never saw coming? Dave shares that Ann tells him on their tenth anniversary, after an awesome date he planned, that she no longer has feelings for him. (Ouch!)

Another question  from chapter 10 - "All I Hear is Boo"  Ann shares about the time she and Dave spoke at a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting. She says Dave spoke about things he did that caused him to hear Boo!  from   Ann."Why can't we have devotional like other families?" Boo!  "You didn't change the oil like I asked" Boo!

So for the wives, the question is ask your husband if he feels like you cheer for him. Ask him to explain  his answer. (I'm going to write a future post about being our husband's biggest cheerleader)

This book I though was going to be an easy read but it was hard. I was seeing issues in my own marriage that my husband and I need to work on.

I really like this book and recommend it even if you aren't struggling in your marriage.
Just a quick note about Dave and Ann Wilson. They have been featured speakers at Family Life's  Weekend to Remember marriage conferences. 

I received a copy of this book from the publisher (Zondervan) in exchange for my honest review. 

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