The Absurdity of It All

I was sitting here thinking and I jotted down on the journal we got from Kaitlyn's oncologist that it was so absurd that she has cancer. It just doesn't seem real. I know of parents on the CaringBridge website who have seriously ill children and it is so real to read their stories. But with my child it is just not real at all. It just seem so, well ... absurd!
The tests and doctor visits are so exhausting. I still get the "what ifs" thoughts. It's hard not to. I wish I knew where the Lord was going with this.

Wondering Why?

This post is going to be a ramble. My daughter Kaitlyn's tumor is malignant and I'm in total shock over this. She's just a little girl. I know there must be a reason the Lord is allowing this to happen. I can't even tell you what type of cancer she has because my mind blanked on that. All I remember from the phone call today was malignancy and pediatric oncologist.

My children are especially Kaitlyn are taking it well though she is not looking forward to more doctor visits and more surgery. She's an active child and she doesn't like being laid up.

Okay I started this post on Friday but I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say so here is Sunday. I'm still in a state of shock. I know that God has His hand on this situation.
I get Keepers at Home magazine a Christian ladies magazine and each issue has a letter from one of the publishers(Mary K Troyer) called  "Our House... to Yours".  The spring issue came yesterday and  what she shared was exactly what I need to hear. She says that trials will come our way and to not acknowledge them in defeat but to claim victory by abiding in faith and trusting in our almighty God.
So my faith is what getting me through this. I was listening to an old hymn on my MP3 player yesterday called  "I Need Thee Every Hour"

http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/i/n/e/ineedteh.htm

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;


No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.



Refrain



I need Thee, O I need Thee;

Every hour I need Thee;

O bless me now, my Savior,

I come to Thee.



I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;

Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.



Refrain



I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;

Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.



Refrain



I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;

And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.



Refrain



I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;

O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.



Refrain

 
 
That song just really ministered to me. It was written by a young mom and you can read how it came to be clicking on the song's link above. So my faith is resting on Jesus. May we all do the same.

So The Waiting Begins

Waiting for the results of my child's biopsy has been very frustrating and everyone here is on edge. We find we have been snapping at each other and then asking each other forgiveness. Also asking the Lord for His forgiveness. Whatever God wants for us, Thy will be done.