Friday, December 25, 2015

Monday, December 21, 2015


It seems my posts have been rather sad. I apologize for that. This past Saturday my husband's dad passed into glory. He had suffered many years from COPD, he had adult failure to thrive, dementia, and he had a number of falls. He wasn't getting any better in the skilled nursing so he was on hospice home care. The hospice nurses were really great.

 We thought he had more time though. The hospice nurses had provided a handbook about hospice care and all it involved. There is a section that explains the signs of approaching death. Starting with a month down to minutes before death occurs. I didn't see the signs listed in the handbook or so I thought.

The book mentions one of the signs is talking to someone who isn't there. He was doing that a few days prior to his passing, but we thought he was talking in his sleep. He was sitting in his easy chair just chattering away. Then a week ago he had his last fall and it was downhill from there. He had this terrible cough for which his hospice doctor prescribed medicine for. I remember how congested dad sounded it sounded so rattled. I know now it was the "death rattle". I remembered that sound when my dad died from a heart attack many years ago.

There's another thing the hospice book mentioned the person asking about home. Dad had asked my husband Tim when he was going home. Tim thought Dad was confused about where he was so he  explained he was home. Then the other signs were lack of  urine output which I thought was urinary retention caused by possible constipation. He was on pain medicine but we also gave him medicine to prevent constipation. He ate very little and didn't even finish the ice cream I gave him that Friday. He loved ice cream. And the thing was he was very alert and was able to ask for things he needed. I gave him some cough medicine and pain medicine at 4 Saturday morning tucked him in and that would be the last time we saw him alive.

I woke up around 8:30am and he wasn't coughing and I assumed the cough medicine had done it's job  job. I peeked in on him without going into the room and assumed he was sleeping and he was sleeping on his side. Again I thought oh good he was able to get comfortable enough to turn on his side to sleep so I decided I won't bother him yet.
At around 10 I decided I check to see if he wanted breakfast and perhaps get out of bed and sit in the living room. I walked in quietly glanced at him and noticed Dad's eyes were partially open I din't get alarmed right away but we he didn't acknowledge my presence I knew something terribly wrong. I touched his hands and they were cold. I grabbed my stethoscope and there was no heartbeat. Life had fled from dad.

The whole thing was and still is surreal. From the time the hospice nurses came to when the mortuary people came. That was really weird. I expected an ugly white van but instead it was a nice grey car. The man and woman who came were dressed up in their Sunday go to meeting clothes.

I realize this post has become a ramble and I apologize for that. Something I realized when I discovered that Dad has passed away is I wasn't squeamish. I didn't freak out.

Though my father in law is gone and we are sad, we rejoice his suffering over. It's taken me several days to write this post. It's just been very hard to write.

Thursday, November 26, 2015


Today is Thanksgiving. Please take time to thank the Lord for the blessings you have. Many are not as fortunate so we need to make sure we all pray for those who are suffering. God bless you all and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Finally Home

My dear friend Krista English passed on to her reward on November 3rd. She leaves behind a husband and two teen boys. My heart is sad for her family but her suffering is over and she is sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Her Celebration of Life service was wonderful. She didn't want it to be sad and depressing. She wanted uplifting joyful worship songs and that is what she got. And most importantly she wanted those in attendance to know her Savior. She loved the Lord with all her heart and she taught her boys to love the Lord too.
I will miss you dear Krista!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015


My tablet died and so I'm stuck using a dinosaur of a laptop so I apologize for not posting sooner.
So my post is called "Why?" I don't understand why God allows mothers to die before their children grow up, get married and have children.
Right now there is a precious mom of two teen boys awaiting  for the Lord to call her home/ It's so hard to understand why God is allowing this to happen.
I wish I could be by her bedside to sing her into heaven. OH HOW I HATE CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, September 11, 2015

Quick Post

I'm still here! I'm not going to write an actual post until tomorrow because it's getting late. So tomorrow I will write on some things that have been on my mind lately.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

I Hate Cancer!

I hate it especially when children have it. My daughter Kaitlyn was at her yearly visit with the pediatric oncologist and there were so many children there. I hate the idea that children have to visit an oncologist. We met a mom whose daughter who is about age 10 had lymphoma. She had chemo and lost her hair but was cute as a button! Her daughter is so far doing well. My daughter is fine too. There is no sign the cancer has returned which we are ever so grateful!

Monday, August 3, 2015

A Calm Vent

Well I will try to be calm. I have brought the subject of leaving children in hot cars before. I just read an article about an irresponsible mom who left her two year old baby in the car while she shopped at Costco. Thankfully some shoppers saw the crying child and called 911. The mother shows up with one child in tow and was apologetic but the police were not having it. She was told her child could have died and was arrested for child endangerment.

Unfortunately not all children  are rescued in time. Each year it never fails that a child dies from being left in a hot car. There is absolutely no excuse for leaving a child in a car. If the child is asleep when you arrive at the store either turn around and go home or wake the child up. It is better to put up with a cranky child than planning a funeral for a dead one! Not to mention the prison time you're going to face.

That's my rant. I apologize for calling the mom I mentioned irresponsible but it just makes me so upset to hear about these types of stories.
This statement I'm going to make is often used to criticize those of us who chose to have more than one child. God gave you a brain. Use it! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY IN A HOT CAR EVER!!!
You have my permission to forward this post or however that works.

Thursday, July 30, 2015


Sometime ago I listened to a sermon about discerning Godly music. It talked about avoiding music that is dishonoring to the Lord, more specifically contemporary Christian music aka  CCM. I'm really not a huge fan of it anymore. I don't like the rock beat of it and alot of it is too "me" focused.
 I prefer hymns both old and new original ones. I like it even better with no instruments with just the voices. And I definitely do not like singing old hymns that have been modernized to have that CCM beat as though the original tune is broken.

The speaker played a portion of a CCM song the title I don't remember but the female singer voice was, well "breathy". I've heard this same "breathiness" in may secular love songs. It's really inappropriate if you're singing to the Lord.
  I know that women singers are usually targeted for singing this way, but I've heard some men CCM singers doing the same thing. My family listens to CCM in the car and some of the male singers are singing so breathy you'd think they were trying to seduce the listener.

Not all CCM is this way of course. I often wonder if it really should be sung in church though. Even the black gospel that we grew up with has changed with many of it being rap and hip hop style.

 I don't like leaving church feeling like I've been to a rock concert. Unfortunately many churches are like that now. That's why finding a church is going to be hard for me. My husband and teens CCM but I don't.

Well that is my "rant" for the day. This is something that has been on my mind for a long time.Perhaps I'm just old now.

Monday, July 27, 2015

So Much Sadness

I saw yesterday that Bobbi Kristina Brown passed away at only 22 years of age. I can't imagine what her dad and grandma Cissy Houston are going through. She lost her precious Whitney just a few years ago.
Saturday I went to a memorial service for a young may who used to be in our homeschool group. He was only 20 years old. I just can't believe the number of lost children I read about in the past couple of weeks. My heart is breaking for these parents.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Church Visits

Well we visited one of the churches here in town two weeks in a row so that our two daughters could get a chance to check out the church. My family likes it but I have some reservations about it. I enjoyed the sermons and the fellowship but it's just too casual for me. There were people in shorts and bringing coffee into the sanctuary. I looked at the carpet and wondered how many coffee stains they clean each week.

We plan to visit other churches in town but we don't know where. Visiting churches makes me extremely nervous! I almost wish the Lord hadn't convicted me of certain areas in my life. Maybe I wouldn't be so nervous. I'm not in bondage to my convictions but it gets difficult and lonely when no one else believes the same way.
I get Keepers at Home magazine and almost issue has a letter from a women who is alone in her convictions about wearing a headcovering and wearing dresses only. Oh how I relate to them!

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Happy 4th!

Happy 4th to my American readers. To those who are lucky enough to do your own fireworks at home, be safe.  We aren't allowed to do home fireworks here which is rather sad. 
Growing up we  looked forward to sparklers and tiny firecrackers. Daddy always made sure we had fireworks each year and everyone in the neighborhood would get together to do fireworks. It was so much fun! Such memories!:)

Friday, June 26, 2015

Really Not Surprised

So the Supreme Court has ruled that homosexuals have the right to "marry" in all states. It really doesn't surprise me at all.It's really disgusting but the Bible says these things will happen in the last days. I really wish Jesus would hurry up and come!

I'm almost wanting to cancel all my Google accounts because the home pages says "YouTube and Google are proud to celebrate marriage equality". I'm thinking "really Google?"
So anyway, even if the court had ruled against gay marriage, it's wouldn't change their behavior. They will continue in their sin unless they turn to Christ. And it is sin! There is no such thing as being born gay. If that's the case, then that makes God's Word false and I believe His Word is true!

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Headcoverings in the Black Church

 I came across this video on YouTube and I was surprised at all the veiled ladies. It is footage of
 Rev. Thomas A. Dorsey at some special service which I understand to be a consecration service. Many of ladies are dressed in white with white veilings.

To those of you who don't know who Thomas Dorsey was he was a gospel song writer who suffered a tremendous loss which inspired  him to write the song " Precious Lord, Take My Hand."  He was known as the "Father of Gospel Music". He went to be with the Lord in 1993 and there will never be another Thomas Dorsey. Perhaps a close second would be Andre Crouch who went to be with the Lord a couple of months ago.

Anyway, getting back to the veilings, I remember seeing ladies when I was a little girl going to church dresses like that. They looked so pretty!

When didn't go to church much when I was a little girl but we listened to live black churches on the radio in the morning and evenings.Gospel music was so much better back then than it is now.
So anyway, I was so excited to see these ladies. There is a closeup in the video of one a lady who reminded me of my mother.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015


Oh this poor neglected blog! I didn't plan to be away for so long.
So I gained back some of the weight I lost. That is disappointing but I'm okay with it because I'm trying again.

We left our church at the end of February which was very difficult but we just couldn't come to an agreement with the elders over an issue. We had been wondering whether we should leave or not.
So Tim went on the Daniel Fast. You can find information about it but basically it's a vegan diet. So anyway he spent a great deal of time in prayer during his fast. During this time he wasn't in church. I realize many don't agree with this approach but he was modeling after Jesus who took time away from the multitudes to be alone and pray.

As it was getting closer to the end of the fast there was little things happening that was seemed to be saying we should leave. At the end of  Tim's fast the Lord confirmed that it was time to leave. It was difficult of course. Several members had already left over the same reason we left. My husband even tried talking to our pastor but to no avail.:(

Currently we are not at a church due to us not being able to leave Tim's dad alone for long periods of time. He is recovering from a fall. There is a church Tim a the girls want to visit and possibly make it our church home. I on the other hand am willing to visit but I'm not sure I want to stay. I don't agree with some of the doctrine there.
We are thinking about taking taking turns staying with Papa so one of us can go to church. We feel Tim should visit the church first. I'm a little worried about visiting a church by myself but I know the Lord will be with me whenever I go.

I just really wish there was a Conservative Mennonite or some other conservative Anabaptist congregation nearby. I feel so at home and so does Tim. Our daughters on the other hand don't like the services because the singing is acappella and they think the Conservative Mennonites are too conservative. It's really too bad because I really think they can learn much the teen girls there.

Anyway, we just need to be patient with God. We watch Charles Stanley on Sunday mornings and I have the app so I can I can watch the sermon again.
It will be interesting indeed to see where God places us.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

He is Risen!

Hallelujah! I met to post this when I woke up but I got too busy.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Too Much On My Mind

I have all these topics on my mind I want to post about but I don't know where to start. I've been thinking a lot about Titus 2 and the verses about the aged women teaching the younger. I really don't know what age Paul had in mind when talking about older women. I'm 54 and I know I can still learn from  women who are much older than myself.

I also was thinking how many of us, if we are truly honest with ourselves object to being told the truth in love if we are making a mistake in how we treat our husband or how to raise our children.. I'm not talking about a woman being a nosy busy body. I'm referring to godly women in our midst whom we trust and respect. I can remember many year ago when I was in my 20s and single an older godly mom told me that my skirt was a little too short. I was horrified! A lot of my Christian  friends wore short skirts and at the time I didn't see anything wrong with it. I thought she was old and didn't know what she was talking about!
Anyway, it's hard sometimes to accept constructive criticism from someone at any age. I've had younger women confront me on various issues and that is really an ouch!

Another topic that has been on my mind is modesty during pregnancy  which is something I never thought about until there was a discussion on a group I'm on about it.. I think I will need to write about it in a separate post because the discussion gave me and others lots to think about.

And yet still I want to talk about taming the tongue and how sometimes we need to be careful how we word things because they can be greatly misunderstood. This is especially true when it comes to emails since the recipient
 can't see our faces when writing.

So you see there are many to topics I want to post on and I hope to find time to write about them.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Oops!Sorry for Delay

Again I apologize for the very long delay in posting an update. I'm down to 149 pounds. So it is coming slowly. I have been using the exercise bike, doing various Sparkpeople videos and walking. Honestly this has been the most active I have been in a long time. And it's great! I still struggle with sweets but it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be.
I don't care if I don't have the body from those phony weight loss ads. I just want to honor the temple that God has given me and to be healthy.


Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Weight Thing

I'm finding that trying to lose weight is a little harder than I thought it would be. I'm on I like this site because you can track your food intake and exercise. They offer a lot of support and you can set goals for yourself. I appreciate the support this site offers and if you are trying to lose weight, I recommend Spark People

Getting back to trying to lose weight, I'm need to break some of my old habits like snacking when not hungry, overeating etc.  My goal is to get my weight back down to about 121 by May 14. My current weight is 153. I weighted about 120 years ago before my illness. Back in 2007 I suffered from TTP which is a blood disorder that caused platelets to drop to dangerous levels. During that time I was on Prednisone which caused me to gain so much weight, I was horrified!
So now I have decided I really want to do this. I know the Lord will help me.

Exercise is hard for me too because I'm so out of shape. What I'm doing for exercise currently is walking which I managed to do two days in a row.  Normally I don't do any walking unless you count shopping for groceries.
We have an stationary bike that a friend borrowed but as soon as we get it back, that will be another source of exercise.

And drinking water! I used to hate drinking water but after my surgery I needed to drink lots of water per doctor's orders. I have a water bottle that holds five cups of water so I try to drink two water bottles a day. If you are trying to lose weight make sure you drink lots of water. It will fill you up and you might be less tempted to overeat.

Aim for at least 8 glasses a day and I don't mean little glasses. You need to drink 8oz or more serving sizes.  Invest in a water purifier you attach to your faucet if tap water grosses you out. Buying plastic bottles of water can get expensive so the purifier is a wise choice.
I will keep posted on how I'm doing with my weight loss.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Some More Goals

I remembered a couple of more goals for 2015. One is to lose weight. I was horrified at my last checkup when they checked my weight. So in order for me to lose my other goals are to eat healthier and exercise more.
One way to eat healthier is for me to make wiser food choices at the market. It's so easy to want to fill the cart with junk.  The way I see it, if it's not in the house we won't eat it.
I don't have a real plan for losing weight since programs like Weight Watchers, Nurisystem, etc are out of my price range. So it going to be just the Lord and I. Pray for me as I go on this weight loss "adventure".

Happy New Year 2015!

Can you believe it's really 2015? Once again my list of  at least a few things I hope, if the Lord wills, of goals for this year
1. Lead five people to the Lord
2. Read through the whole Bible again (I enjoyed this last year.)
3.Crochet a small granny square blanket
4.. Sew something small from my Christian Life Education sewing book
5. Invite a new person from church to our house  for lunch after service.

These are just a few things that I hope the Lord will help me to accomplish.

Moving My Blog

 After still trying to figure out the subscription thing with MailChimp and never having success, I've decided to go ahead and use my Wo...