Last weekend I went to a women's retreat with several ladies from church. Truth be told I originally didn't want to go. It got down to only one remaining spot but I refused to sign up to take that spot. As it was getting close to one week before the retreat I started to pray and ask God if He truly wanted me on the retreat I would need someone to call me and ask if I wanted to go. The cost needed to be taken care of too since we couldn't afford the cost. At this point I still had no desire really to go but I was willing to go if God wanted me to.
Sure enough the Saturday before retreat weekend my friend called me to say she can't go on the retreat and asked if I wanted to go in her place and it was all paid for. I'm thinking "Really Lord?" I told her I'd ask my husband Tim and will call her back.
I hung up and went to explain to Tim about not wanting to go on the retreat. I told him about my prayer. He told me that I needed to obey God in this and to go on the retreat. My heart sank. I was hoping he would say no and that I heard wrong from God. So I called my friend back to let her know I will be taking her spot. She was very happy I was going. As a matter of fact when she knew she couldn't go, I was the first one she thought of!
Now you may be wondering why I didn't want to go on the retreat. It's because of self! I was pretty much consumed with my own feelings of awkwardness, shyness, and not wanting to explain why I dress the way I do and why I have such conservative convictions. I was concerned with ME! How selfish is that?
The theme for the retreat was Restored: Unveiling a New Heart. And wouldn't you know it, one of the workshops on Saturday was called "Overcoming Me"! Talk about God's planning!
Some of the characteristics the speaker said of "me " people is they 1.Complain, 2.Compare, 3.Criticize, 4.Have diminished view of God.
I couldn't believe what God had revealed to me that weekend! This scripture jumped out at me and it is found in Philippians 2:3-8:
3. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.
4. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
5. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.
6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
7. But made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Himself the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
8. And being found in fashion as a man, He humbled Himself, and became obedient unto death, even death of the cross.
I was reminded again of "self" when I read Eleneaor's post on www.radicallyforjesus.blogspot.com
It's very humbling to have the Lord reveal the flaws and be willing to allow Him to mold and shape us into the woman He wants us to be. So in regards to the woman's retreat I'm glad I went. It doesn't matter that nobody else may share my convictions.
What matters is I need to make sure that I have an attitude like Jesus. I want my actions and attitude to please God and not do anything that would dishonor Him and cause me to be a poor witness. I know there are many areas in my life that need improvement. I'm willing to allow the Lord to help me to get rid of "self"!